coming soon... a real blog post!

Whew!  The last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind.  The kids are back home through the week (our "normal" most of the year), we just spent a busy and fun-filled weekend in Branson with my parents and siblings, and this week we will be working hard to prepare for school to start next week.  

Caden begins first grade on the 12th, and my classes start on the 16th.  Little Miss will also be starting a preschool program in the next couple of weeks, finalizing those details are on my to-do list this week. 

I have taken on two clients since I said that I couldn't take on any more, so work and four online classes are about to keep my butt in gear.  I am really excited to start my classes, this semester I have one psych class that I think will be really fun and interesting.  Next semester, I am planning on diving head-first into a program that I think will be very challenging, yet very rewarding. 

 I would certainly consider myself in a transitional period of my life, but I have the best support system:  family.  Cody loves and cares for me and our kids so much, I have the utmost respect for him.  The stars were perfectly aligned when we met, because he is truly my person.  My better half.  The man that inspires me to be the best version of myself.  The man that calls me out on my bullshit, but also forgives me when I act like an ass.  I have found a forever love.

I want to post pictures we took over the weekend, hope to do that very soon.  I got a new phone and am still learning how to use it (my old one broke after being dropped for the billionth time).  Until next time...

technical difficulties

I have a bunch of pictures to share from the past couple of weeks, but am having issues getting them from my phone to my blog.  After wasting over thirty minutes last night on my second attempt, I gave up.  I hope that my amazing fiance will be able to do it for me assist me with it this evening, because there are some cute photos of the kids from the fourth of July.

Here in the Lane household, life has been peaceful and normal.  Kids are still spending weekdays with their dad.  Cody has been working a lot... he makes me so proud.  He is such a great provider and a family man.  He does whatever he can to make me happy, and is so involved with the kids.  Our home is our happy place, and I appreciate it every single day. 

We have a couple more weeks left until the schedule with the kids goes back to normal.  We are looking forward to having the kids back home full-time, but while they are gone I plan to make the most of our time together.  We will be taking the scooter out this week (my request, the weather will be so much cooler) and next week we have a concert, a float trip planned, and will be celebrating  Elizabeth's birthday.  I am pretty excited to celebrate with her.  She is one of the very best friends a girl could ask for; she is one of the rocks in my life and I don't know what I would do without her (or our daily phone calls).

Not long ago, after a yoga class we had taken together, I sent her a text along the lines of, "Isn't is funny how eight or nine years ago that we went out day-drinking for a fun, and now... we exercise?!" It made us both laugh, but it is so true.  I wouldn't take back many of the experiences I've had, but am happy to look back on those times and smile at the memories (and never do a lot of it ever again).  I still have loads of fun all the time, it is just different now, and I am more than okay with that.

Speaking of exercise, I am off to go for a run before I go to work today--it is 57 degrees right now.  On July 15.  I am definitely taking advantage of this rare cool week we are about to have.  I promise to post kid pictures soon, and have a couple of other posts in the works.  Have a great week, get outside!!

Laica and Bunny.  :))

truckin' along

I absolutely cannot believe that tomorrow is July 1st.  Summer is flying by, we are all well into our summertime routine.  Cody has been working a TON (so proud of the man he is), I have been working and keeping up things around the house, trying to help out with stuff that Cody usually does.  He has been working around 55-60 hours a week, so he is pretty exhausted.  If I love you, I do what I can to take care of you.  It is just who I am, and I love that man so much.

Our garden has been producing wonderful fruits and veggies for us to eat.  I love cooking with produce that I picked in my back yard.  There is just something so simple and lovely about it, and it is a great activity for the family to do together.  Caden and Laica are loving eating up the cherry tomatoes as they ripen.  I think Cody and I have each eaten one. :))  Tomatoes (especially out of the garden) are my all-time favorite food, and I love that the kids like them so much too.

I have gotten to do some fun stuff while working lately.  I have planted flowers and mint for Ellen, and had so much fun doing it.  I used to be sort of intimidated by plants and gardening, mainly because I have killed every houseplant that I have ever owned.  Having Cody teaching me and watching him set up our garden has given me more confidence in my abilities, and tending to the plants is sort of therapeutic.  I am really enjoying all of it.  Here are a couple of pictures I sent Ellen to show off my work. 

We pulled out some weird plants that the previous owner had planted.  The mint looks so much nicer, and smells amazing!  The plan is to add some chocolate mint as well.  We have made their patio a happy, pretty place to enjoy the backyard.

Sunday we stayed in all day, and it was so nice and relaxing.  The kids both took long naps (Caden rarely naps these days, even though he could use one more often) and did some crafting.  Laica made these bracelets out of toilet paper tubes.  She said they were for Mimi, Papa, and Rags (Mariah's dog).  The girl sure likes to cut, glue, and generally make a mess.  :))  Love my little artists.  

We needed to relax Sunday after the hustle and bustle of Friday and Saturday.  Friday night the kids got to spend the night with Magnolia and Maya.  They were so excited, they love playing with these friends.  Jonah was there too, giving Caden another boy to play with.  Girls definitely outnumber boys in that crew. 

I left the kids to go meet Cody and his family for dinner, we were celebrating Phil's birthday.  Saturday we picked up the kids and headed to the ball field to catch a Cardinals game.  There were fun kids activities going on, so the kids got to spend a couple of house jumping and sliding on inflatables before we went to sit down to watch the game.  The plan was to stay late and watch the fireworks after the game.  The game ended up being postponed because of the storm that was moving in, we got home right before it started pouring.  We were all a little disappointed, but we plan on having lots of fun at Phil and Becky's house with the kids on Friday.

This little lady cracks me up.  She was showing off her jumps to me.  We spent some girls time together while Clint and Caden went to the Four Wheel Jamboree last weekend.  Prior to swimming we went to the zoo, and it got hot pretty quickly. Once Laica started grumbling that "we should've gotten a cart" (rented a stroller) because she was tired of walking and asking me to carry her, we headed home to swim for a bit then rest and watch some "Neckflix" (some of the stuff she says is too adorable to correct right now.  Neckflix is one of those things).

This boy has my heart.  I am so proud of the young man he is growing into.  He is so very bright and always wanting to learn more.  He loves to make us laugh.  I always call him my first baby when I am snuggling him before bed.  Such a sweetheart.

I really miss them during the week while they are with Clint, but we are already halfway through the "swap period" and life will go back to normal in no time.  They are having fun spending some extra time with their daddy.  I am enjoying this time that I have only myself to get ready and out the door in the morning (mostly).  Let's put it this way, I am trying to find the positive things in the situation.  Speaking of positive things... look what I got in the mail today.

This made me happy.  While I am enjoying  the fact that I don't have assignments and deadlines lingering in my mind at all times, I will be ready to start classes when August rolls around.  I am have a goal, and will achieve it.  It may take a couple more years from now, but I am doing it--rather than just dreaming about it.  I like where I am, and am confident about where I am going.

sweet summer

Yesterday while at work, I got a call from Clint.  It was one of those times when you just know something is up, because we don't usually call to chat at eleven in the morning (a time when we are both usually working).  His baby sitter had a kid who was sick, leaving us little options.  Since I have the best boss ever (me!) and some pretty amazing clients I wrapped up work early for the day and went to collect my kiddos.

It was HOT, therefore we did the only thing you do outside on days like these:  went swimming.  I love how easily kids are entertained with water, and it reminds me of how much fun swimming was when I was a kid.

It was nice to wake up with the kids in the house this morning.  I don't want to wish away our summer, but it sure feels odd for them to be gone throughout the week.  I miss my babies, and jumped at this opportunity to shuffle my schedule and have some extra time with them this week.  It worked out in a timely manner, as my parents want the kids to stay with them tomorrow night--they actually wanted them last weekend, but the kids declined.  We had made plans to go downtown and see our friends (and sitter when kids are with me), Miss Kayti and her crew.  Caden and Laica love her little girls, and it is obvious they have been missing each other!

We took the kids downtown to the River Rescue Jam, to listen to music, eat some food, and attempt to keep the wild kids in sight.  There were tons of kids dancing and a bubble machine, I think it is safe to say that a good time was had by all.  

Laica took this selfie in the car.

Love those cheesy smiles, and the fact that they will be good sports (even with the sun in their eyes).

Here is a shot of the action, lots of people plus kids that want to run around equals one alert mommy.  We had to stop a few games of hide and seek, because a couple times the kids were hiding too well and I almost panicked.  :)

Laica and Olivia.

This kid.  I had about ten pictures of just Caden, and he was being a goober in every single one.  He loves to make people laugh.

Oh, and I have gotten to spend some quality time with this little lady.  She belongs to some friends, and I had the privilege of watching her a couple of times this week.  I think from this picture, you can tell that we got along just fine.  Love, love, love babies (and so glad my friends are starting to have them so I can babysit, then send them home)!  :))

Things have been calm and uneventful lately, which is absolutely fine with me.  I am looking forward to the weekend and spending time with Cody and the kids.  We don't have much on our agenda, which is my favorite kind of weekend... we will see where it takes us!



 

...

We have officially started the second week of summer vacation.  I just got home from taking Caden to baseball practice in Republic, where we met Clint.  The kids will go home with him from there, for the week. 

 Cody and I have both been surprised at how much we missed them in the first week.  We were both ready for a little break, and we love and need to spend time together--just the two of us.  However, we love our family, and those kids complete our family.  It is quiet while they are gone.  

My intention is to fill my free time with positive things: lots of yoga, time with friends, time snuggling babies that belong to those friends, and at least one float trip.  I love a good day on the river.

I went to a hot class yesterday and this morning (and have four more scheduled for the week--it is addictive).  I am absolutely wiped out.  The rest of this Sunday shall be spent eating lunch at home with my love, snuggling  on the couch, binge watching some more of Orange Is The New Black, and most certainly taking a good, long nap.

Cloudy skies, windows open, ceiling fans on, sitting next to my man, and meat loaf in the oven.  This setting is perfection to me at this moment.  My intention for today is to have a still mind and body...It shouldn't be too hard to accomplish this goal, as I can barely walk after today's class.  :)))

intention

Lately, I have been doing a lot of thinking about intention.  I have been working on my patience more in the recent weeks. It is something that I have to consciously put effort into, because my patience level is a big fat zero.  I really don't like that about myself.  It isn't all bad, because I am usually very efficient at whatever I am doing.  However, when I have to work with others, I automatically (incorrectly) assume that everyone should be on my level...and when they aren't, I want to scream.  I don't act on the urge (I am impatient, not impulsive) but the loud thoughts racing through my mind induce stress.  

I am lucky to be in a phase of my life in which I mainly work by myself, for people that I choose to work for.  I have not always, and will not always continue to have this luxury, but I certainly do not take it for granted.  Appropriately enough, while writing about patience, Laica is up at 5 a.m. and is in a wedding today...sigh.

I am often having to remind Laica to stop being so bossy...but she comes by it honestly.  I was born a boss, and had younger siblings who were willing to listen to me.  Having a daughter that is my carbon copy has been a good learning experience.  I often find myself telling her things that I should be telling myself.  When she drives me insane, I have to wonder how many people that I have driven crazy with my stubborn, independent ways.  My bets are that everyone who loves me (or has worked with me) has experienced what I feel in dealing with Laica.  I am certainly being paid back for every time in my life that I have been a pain in the ass (I bet there are some people reading this who get some satisfaction from that statement).
 
One of the pieces of advice given to Laica that I should take myself is that, "sometimes it is better to ask for help before you try to do it by yourself."  Cody has been amused by overhearing some of these conversations, saying things like, "Maybe Mommy should take her own advice."  I really don't know what it is, but our brains are wired to first give it a shot, and then ask for help if we cannot achieve the desired results on our own. 

 An example that I will never forget was back around 2005.  I was single, living with Carly, and loving life.  The living room had vaulted ceilings and the light bulbs needed to be changed, and I was home alone (with no ladder-we were young girls).  My solution?  Two coolers, side by side, a bar stool on top of the the coolers, and two or three phone books on top of the bar stool.  I got those damn lights changed, but will never forget that Carly was bothered that I did it while I was home alone.  She was right to be concerned, I easily could have fallen and had a "life alert" moment, minus the life alert device.  :)  Hindsight is 20/20, right?

That thought leads me back to the original thought behind the post, which was intention.  Taking more time for myself recently has lead to me consciously being more intentional.  Some days the only goal I can muster is to be present.  I am a work in progress, but I am seeing results from my intentions.  I am seeing results from my actions.  My intention is inner peace, a quiet mind.  Some days are better than others, but by being aware of my thoughts and feelings and listening to my body, I am doing my best.

In class earlier this week, during a compression pose, the instructor told us that it was normal for the body to release emotion in that pose.  She was right, tears were streaming down my face, in a room full of people...and I didn't even care.  Not too long after that, class ended with a beautiful version of "Let It Be."  As I was in corpse pose, crying, and feeling my guardian angel there with me, I was happy.

 I am happy.  The human body is amazing, we just have to listen to what it tells us.  Allow ourselves to feel and express emotion.  Live life with intention.  Be present.  Life is beautiful.

(untitled)

I just tried to upload an adorable picture of Laica swinging at the playground, but I could not get it to work.  Does this frustrate me?  Surprisingly, no, it doesn't.  The reason that it doesn't is because I have already spilled a full (my first cup of the morning) cup of coffee all over my nightstand and the floor.  Just in case you were worried, yes, it even got on my bed.  Lovely.  Cleaning up the amazing liquid that I should be drinking, before I have gotten the chance to experience the magic it provides.  Now that I think about it, I didn't get too upset about the spill, it just surprised me.

I have been doing more yoga than usual lately, and I feel really good because of it.  Last night I lost my engagement ring for a short time period.  I. FREAKED. OUT.  I was all out the door, on my way to get some quiet "Brooke time," without a care in the world.  I planned on hitting up Old Navy before my hot class started.  Plans changed when I looked at my hand and PANICKED when there was no ring on my finger.  It had been on all day.  I knew it had been.  I called Chelsi to search her house, because I had spent a little time over there.  I called Cody to look on the bathroom and bedroom counters, and headed straight home to tear the house apart.  In tears.

I went straight upstairs to our bedroom and looked by the sink, turned around and spotted it.  It was on the carpet by my dresser, it must have come off while I was changing for class.  (It it a little big, we haven't sized it yet, but I never thought it would be able to come off without me knowing.) WHEW!!  I sat down on the edge of the bed and bawled.  Tears of relief and happiness that I had found it.  Cody held me and told me that it would have been fine even if I hadn't found it.  No, I would have been devastated.  This ring is old.  Really old...and it is perfect.  It holds great sentimental value.  To me, it is priceless and irreplaceable.  It is the one I want to wear for the rest of my life.  Today I am grateful (and careful).

I went on to yoga (left the ring in a safe place at home) and didn't have my best practice.  I stuck with it, but spent a good amount of time in child's pose.  It was humbling.  My instructor, Nicole and friend, Elizabeth, are coming over this morning for one of our weekly sessions.  The three of us usually practice twice a week if we can.  I am really proud of how far I have come since starting my practice in January.  It affects me positively in other aspects of my life, such as working on my patience.  I (try) to breathe through red lights and traffic, rather than honking my horn and screaming like a maniac.  Seriously, I wish Missouri was a hands-free only state.  I hate being held up by someone scrolling on their phone, it infuriates me.

I have high expectations for today.  Yoga in an hour.  Coffee with Don before I head to Nixa to work today.  I am excited to see Dru, she is one of my favorite clients.  The kids are with Clint until tomorrow night, and they are in his cousin's wedding on Saturday.  I can't wait to see pictures.  Bet my kiddos will look so cute!

I'm off to switch out laundry before my guests arrive, will post some kid pictures later in the week.

;))