a quick catch up... aka a lot of pictures

It seems to have been six months since I last blogged.  I am hoping to keep up with it on a more regular basis from here on out, and we are about seven weeks away from having some new subject matter!

Those who follow me on Instagram and Facebook know that we are expecting a baby girl, due on November 30th.  Her name is Penelope Rose Lane, and we will call her Penny.  She came as a total surprise to us, but we are all ready to be a family of five.  

Since my last post, we moved into a bigger space.  We have enjoyed making our new house a home, and I have more projects ahead of me once I have the baby.  I can't really complain about how I have felt during the pregnancy, everything has gone relatively smoothly so far.  Aside from a handful of irrational emotional moments and feeling tired all the time, the past 7-8 months have flown by.  As of today, I am 32 weeks and 4 days.  Both Caden and Laica were around a week past their estimated due date, therefore I am planning on the same thing this time around.  However, I will be pleasantly surprised if Miss Penelope makes her appearance around Thanksgiving.  

Penny moves a lot, and when Cody talks to her with his head on my belly, she always kicks him.  It is absolutely adorable.  I know that Cody is going to be a great dad, and am really looking forward to experiencing this with him.  

As you can see from the pictures, the kids are growing and so is my midsection.  Caden started martial arts a little over a month ago, and Laica is back in gymnastics after taking a break for a few months.  They are loving school and we are so proud of them. 

Cody has been working crazy hours lately.  He just got home, so I am going to wrap up this post and spend some time with him.  Stay tuned, there will be more bump pictures and eventually I will be able to introduce the newest member of our family, little Penny Lane.

 

life lately...

Life lately... it has been hectic and busy, but wonderful at the same time.  We recently made the decision to move when our lease is up this summer, which is adding a little stress, but I am excited to find a house we will stay in for a long, long time.  We were planning on staying here one more year, but as we all know, plans sometimes change.  

Easter was a great day spent with family.  We went to Buffalo to Cody's Grandma's house and ate way too much food.  I made Neiman Marcus bars (Gooey Butter Cake) for the first time, and it was a huge it.  I didn't know it, but that is the favorite dessert of Cody's uncle Darrell.  I am happy to have found "my dish" to bring to family gatherings. 

Here are a few pictures of life lately.  We are all busy doing life...I am trying to stay focused and finish out the semester successfully.  So far, all grades are in the A-B range and going to do my best to keep it that way.  I am looking forward to summer break and reading something other than a text book. 

I have not been keeping up with my self-imposed blogging challenge very well, but that's life.  Stick with me, I will be back at it in no time.  











 Selfie on Easter Sunday.  We dyed eggs Sunday night with the kids, because they were with their dad for the weekend.












Cody and I had a date night.

 

And finally, Laica has been a huge help lately.  She is just like a mini version of me, always wanting to do things around the house like cook and clean.  Love this bossy little girl.

 

We are off to school and work, stay tuned!!

ten ways to win my heart...

This guy won my heart two years ago...







   I am over the moon in love with Cody and cannot wait until I become Brooke Nichole Lane.  He is the best, ever.  

I am jumping around a little on the blogging challenge list.  The following list of ten ways to win my heart are in not in order of importance.

1.  Give me a lot of physical affection.  Hold my hand.  Hug and kiss me often.  Cuddle with me in bed or on the couch.  Give me shoulder and foot massages.  I took a test once to determine what my love language is quality time, followed very closely by physical touch.  Both of those are very important to me.  

2.  Allow me to have quiet/alone time when I need it.  I am an introverted person, and I need quiet time to recharge.  I am a better partner to Cody and mommy to my kids when I get some quiet time.  Luckily, I usually have time to come home and shower after work, before I have to pick up Laica from preschool.  I am weird about germs, so after cleaning a house I feel as though I have to shower off all of the nastiness immediately.  :)

3.  Help me out with the kids and around the house.  Cody works so hard, and I am a bit old-fashioned and enjoy taking care of our household, so I do most of the housework.  That being said, Cody is always, always willing to help out with any chores if I ask him to do so.  He cooks dinner at least once a week, which is wonderful.  He is very helpful to me all the time, but especially while I am doing school work.

4.  Work on my car when necessary (or at least make an attempt).  I am the luckiest woman in the world and have a fiance that just bought me a new (to us) car!  I love it, and it will be a great car for us.  It is in great condition and should last for years.

5.  Be responsible with your finances.  A lot of the problems that led to my divorce involved poor money management.  Cody and I are able to easily save money, and we split our bills evenly.  We have an emergency fund, and for the first time in my adult life, I feel secure financially.  We were able to pay cash for my car, without taking out any loans.  That is a great feeling of accomplishment for both of us.  Cody and I are on the same page when it comes to our family budget and finances, and we always check with each other before making a purchase (mainly just out of respect for one another).

6.  Be there for me.  I get moody from time to time, and Cody handles me wonderfully.  He grew up with a sister, and he understands how to be sensitive (or just shut up) when needed.  If I need a hug or to just cry to you, then listen to me and once I vent I always feel better.

7.  Have the ability to garden.  My man is a phenomenal gardener, and we are about to start our little urban garden that we do in our backyard.  Last year's garden was really successful and fun to work with.  I am excited to get ours started and work in it again this time around.  Working with plants is very calming and therapeutic to me, I really enjoy the peace it brings me.  The kids also love helping out and picking the fruits and vegetables when they are ready.  Laica is excited because we plan on having more strawberry plants this year.

8.  Talk to me.  Listen to me when I need to talk.  I am usually fairly quiet, but not always.  Cody gets the jabbering side of me.  :)

9.  Be respectful of your parents.  I was raised to have respect for my elders, and nothing is more of a turn-off than someone who speaks disrespectfully to their mother or father.  My ex did this often, and I hated it.  

10.  Give me your full attention when I need it.  Being the independent person that I am, I do not always require a lot of attention.  However, there are certain times when I am needy and clingy and insecure.  Reassure me that you are there for me and will never leave my side.  Put up with my crazy.  Cody has vowed to grow old with me, and he has a lot of crazy to deal with in the coming years.  He handles it beautifully, as it only appears during a certain time of the month.  

There are ten ways to win my heart.  Cody won it the first night I met him.  I will love that man forever, he is truly one of the most amazing people I have ever met.  There is no way I am ever letting him go.

I mean, look at us!  Sure looks like true love to me.  Until next time, xoxo.

wacky weekend

CODY IS HOME!  He got home yesterday afternoon, tired and cold, and happy to be here.  He had a pretty good time with his buddies, though the snow certainly put a (literal) damper on the weekend.

A lot of strange, fun, and eventful things have happened since Friday.  Friday was weird.  I started out the day with two separate clients' houses to clean (that was completed successfully).  I got an upsetting phone call from a family member and had racing thoughts all day while working. (No tragedies--sending good vibes to the people involved in a bad situation).

When I finished up the second house (this place is over 9,000 square feet--no shit) I got a great sense of relief, which was exactly what I needed.  I have worked for this family for around two years, but our time has come to an end.  The lady of the house and I had been discussing the topic for a couple of weeks, and I had decided (in my head--I hadn't even told Cody that I was thinking about quitting because it was a difficult decision, as I am not a quitter.  Ever.).  Basically, I am great at my job.  We both knew that.  We also both knew that I do not have seven to nine hours to devote each week at her house.  They are planning on downsizing (ummm, yes, please do--talk about excessive space) and that is all fine--life situations change all the time.  I was not even a little sad, I was jumping up and down, ecstatic relieved.  I recently took on a new client and it booked me solid.  Like, if something comes up such as a sick kid or a snow day and I have to miss work, it would have messed up every other day of that week, too.  My schedule has to be delicately balanced to work out, because I have clients that are weekly, bi-weekly, occasionally (every couple of months) and one that is every third Friday.

I need the flexibility, that is why I work for myself.  I have part-time hours for full-time pay, and I have worked hard to get here.  Until I graduate and my kids are a few years bigger, this will be my situation.  I am grateful for it each day, as I am able to drop my kids off at school, pick up Laica in the afternoon, and be home when Caden gets off of the bus (and be ready to feed him--that kid does not stop eating).

Cody's mom, Beckie, took the kids and me to see Pinocchio at the Lander's Theater Saturday morning, and it was SO fun.  I am not usually into kid's television programs or movies, but musicals are a whole other story.  It was so cute, we all really enjoyed ourselves.
 
I hadn't been paying much attention to the forecast with the hectic Thursday and Friday that I had, and we got snow Saturday morning.  The kids were supposed to go to Marshfield after the show to stay with my parents, but by the time we got out, the roads were terrible.  Fortunately, they got to go sleep over at Magnolia's house and were thrilled with that.  I picked them up yesterday around one, and they were tired and happy kids.

I had a quiet, clean house after I tidied up when getting back from taking the kids to Portland's.  I was a little bored, but was okay with blogging and looking through facebook, and my school work is all caught up.  (One week until spring break!!!)  I got showered and into sweats, logged onto Facebook and commented on a friend's (friend of about 14 years and former roomie) picture.

That exchange led to receiving a text from him (I didn't have his number after the last phone I had died).  We had a fun, conversation back and forth for a bit and wished each other well, promising to see each other soon.  Well, unfortunately I don't think that will be happening, but I hope otherwise... Not long after that I got a private message from said friend's fiance, making terrible, false, accusations.  I hope she was intoxicated, because if not, then wow.  Just wow.  I will not go into all of the details, but let's just say that after a two to three hour period of receiving messages from her telling me to "go f*ck myself" and me denying any wrongdoing, telling her she was making a mistake, and asking her to please re-read the conversation.  After a very firm message from me, once again encouraging her to re-read our text conversation, I GOT AN APOLOGY.  Actually, I got more than one apology.  I was proud that I never cursed back at her or stooped to her level, I knew I was not in the wrong, whatsoever.  While I didn't stoop to her level, I wanted to.  In my mind, I was thinking, "THAT'S RIGHT, YOU CRAZY BITCH.  CHILL THE EFF OUT!" I encouraged her to have an honest conversation with him, got an apology from him for the encounter, and wished both the best.  Whoa.  I miss my friend, but I will not be initiating any conversations with him until I hear from him.  I think it may be a while.  :)  I never have drama, so this practically blew me out of the   water.  I was dumbfounded.  Glad it got sorted out, but damn.  No more of that, ever.

In the midst of the messaging nonsense that was going on, I decided to brave the weather and headed over to some of Cody and my friend's house to drink a couple Stellas and sing karaoke.  It was so much fun, can't wait to hang again soon, with Cody too.  I am pretty sure I got buzzed and gushed about him a lot. I love that guy.   Next blog challenge topic is "5 things that irritate me about guys/girls."  Should be a fun list, especially with the dramatics experienced over the weekend.  :)  Look for that post soon, I'm about to run out the door to take Laica to school and go to work.  MONDAY! 

what I wear to bed...

This topic is not one that I would ever normally write about, but for the sake of getting back into blogging and completing this self-imposed challenge, I shall share with the world what I wear while sleeping at night.

I am going to do my to do my best to not get into "TMI" (too much information, for the older crowd that may be reading. :)) but at the same time, this is my blog and I want to keep it a space where I do not feel the need to censor myself.  It is a diary of sorts, I just choose to share it with whoever wants to read it.  Moving on...

Full disclosure:  I love lingerie.  Nightgowns, teddies, baby dolls, corsets... love.  Some women buy shoes.  I buy lingerie.  That being said, not all of it is for sleeping.  

As far as sleeping goes, I usually sleep in a nightgown, (cute ones, not grandma style) or a t-shirt or tank and underwear.  I would like to be able to sleep topless and in only underwear (I get hot when I sleep) but I am often woken up my one of my children for some ridiculous reason in the middle of the night.  While the are lead right back to their bedrooms, I prefer to have a shirt on if I have to jump out of bed.  :)

Back on the topic of lingerie, if you're interested in buying some, check out Amazon.  Everything I get is great quality and inexpensive.  (We also have a prime account, therefore it arrives in two days--awesome.  Gotta love (semi)instant gratification.)

I recently got some skinny sweats at Old Navy on clearance, and I have been wearing them a lot.  I like guys sweatpants, because they do not get too short when they're laundered. I love Victoria's Secret's PINK line, but it is a little pricey for me.  I buy undies, perfume, and the occasional bra there... that stuff is expensive, too, but the quality is unbeatable.

I think that I have adequately covered what is covering my body while I am in bed.  I am sure that you were all on the edge of your seat reading it. ;)  One of my favorite songs just came on, "Make Her Say" by Kid Cudi.  Give it a listen, the collaboration of the songs involved in it is smart and hilarious.

Next topic asks me to list "5 things that irritate me about males and 5 things that irritate me about females".  This should be a fun one, I may even start it later tonight.  Right now, I am going to finish my steaming mug of chai tea and maybe clean the kids' room.  Maybe.  It is highly likely that I will get sucked into some Netflix or HBO GO and just chill in my nice, clean house. 

Please, someone, anyone... give me spring.  Now.

Blogging Challenge Day 3: What kind of person am I attracted to?

Like most adults, I have been in relationships that didn't work out.  I was engaged to my high school boyfriend (who proposed to me at my graduation--we were young but let it be noted that public proposals--even if it in no way involves me--make me cringe). Just, no.  That is a moment that should be private and intimate.  I was married (not to the high school boyfriend, we never even set a date) for six years, but one of those years was spent separated.  After the divorce, I dated a few different guys on casual basis.  I had fun and met some interesting people, but I also had some pretty terrible dates.  All of this relationship and dating experience has helped me form opinions on what traits I find attractive in others.

I interpreted this blogging topic as asking what sort of person I was attracted to in a romantic way. However, I suppose that it could also be asking what characteristics are appealing when forming friendships.

First of all, personality and sense of humor are EVERYTHING.  I would choose the funny guy with average looks over the guy who is hot, but totally sucks.  Looks used to be more important, but getting older changes one's perspective and preferences.

At the wise, old age of 30, I have learned what I do and do not like when it comes to choosing a mate.  Trial and error (so many errors!) is at times difficult, but I made it.  I am where I want to be with someone who complements me perfectly.  He is truly my better half.  Love is just incredible...I may be being way too a tad bit mushy.  Cody is out of town for the weekend, and am missing my best friend.   Some of this is going to be really superficial, but the following physical and personality traits are what I am attracted to:

1.  Self-confidence (but not arrogant and douchey, there is a difference)
2.  Independence
3.  Intelligence.  I like people who are smart.
4.  Outgoing (because I am not) and funny
5.  Being OK with not being the center of attention
6.  Honesty
7.  Musical and/or athletic talent
8.  Average or above-average height.  I like tall guys.
9.  Will attempt to fix something on their own before paying someone to do it
10. Can work on automobiles
11.  Masculinity (hairy chests and such)
12.  Having the ability to put me in my place... I can be a lot to deal with at times.  I like to think I'm just doing my part to keep life interesting.  :)  Cody and I do not have too much personal drama, but I can certainly be a pain in the ass if I am unhappy about something.  Cody is great at knowing when to appease me and when to tell me to knock it off.
13.  Sensitivity, in moderation and in appropriate situations, is a good thing.  I like a guy who is not afraid to show or tell me his feelings.  I do not need to know those feelings 24/7 (especially if those feelings involve whining).
14.   Must be able to take a joke, and a lot of sarcasm.  Again, I can be a total ass.
15.  Finally, I need to have feelings of safety and peace, as well as a strong emotional connection.

This list contains preferences, not deal breakers.  We are all human.  Humans mess up.  We all do.  A lot...and then a few more times.  Life happens.  Being part of a dynamic team makes the tough times bearable and the good times incredible.  Life is a journey.  Appreciate each stage of the journey, as it passes far too quickly. 

Missing this guy, but know that he is having so much fun with his friends.

Next challenge post, "What you wear to bed..."  I bet the anticipation for that post is just about unbearable.

How I have changed in the last two years?

It is pretty safe to say that I have experienced a considerable amount of self-growth during the last couple of years.  Some of the aforementioned  growth I can attribute to time, some to my own determination, and a lot of it to my soul mate, best friend, partner in which I am navigating this crazy life with, and the love of my life, Cody.

I love this man so much, and my children love him, too.  We were meant to be and will grow old together...in a tiny home in the mountains somewhere, and we cannot wait for it.  When the kids move out, we are out of here!  :)


 






























Cody is getting ready to switch to a different department in his building, so the beard had to go.  I miss it, but I know it will be back some time (and he is hot either way, so it doesn't really matter to me).

Our two-year anniversary is approaching, and I can say with certainty that this relationship has changed me for the better.  Before Cody and I met, I was drinking beer (not too many, but still, almost every day) and going out way too often.  Don't get me wrong, when my kids were home I did not behave this way, but for a long time Clint and I did one week on, one week off.  My one week off was full of wild shenanigans of a single gal looking for a decent guy (not that you ever find a keeper in a bar.  Fling? Yes.  Long-term, no.  At least, not in my experience).

I owe my meeting Cody to my friends, Portland and Andy.  I simply asked them if they had any cute, single friends, and they thought for a moment and then came up with Cody.  Andy sent him a text that night, we became facebook friends and exchanged numbers.  After a week of flirty banter, we planned to go to a barbeque at Portland's on a certain Thursday night.  Being the forward person that I am, I asked him if he wanted to hang out with me Wednesday night after I got off of work at Cato (the night before we were supposed to meet).  He agreed, though he had to be up early for work the next day.  I took a six pack of beer and we talked for hours and were basically inseparable from that point on. 

Due to weird living situations in both of our lives, we moved in together after knowing each other for two months.  It has been the best decision that I have ever made.  I am the happiest that I have ever been in my life, and my kids and I have an excellent man to lead our family.  We would already be married if I were not going back to school.  When I graduate, we are going to have a destination wedding, then a party reception when we get back into town.

Being with Cody has taught me many things, but I will list some to fulfill the point of this post, explaining how I have changed in the last two years.

1.  I have learned that I do not have to be afraid of arguing or disagreeing with him.  We have fights, as all couples do, but we treat each other with respect.  No yelling, no cursing, and no name calling.  We talk it out in the garage, cry, then kiss and make up.  This is forever, and we both know it.

2.  I have gotten better at asking for help.  I am extremely independent, and during the last couple of years, especially after my divorce, I learned that it was okay to ask my friends and family for help when I needed it.  I have a great support system of people more than willing to drop everything and help me if need be.

3.  I am more at peace with myself and life in general.  I can let go of most things that bother me fairly easily.  Of course, there are problems that do not just immediately go away, but I have learned that just sleeping on an issue does wonders for my perspective on the problem.  

4.  I am a better person.  I care about other people and the well-being of mankind in general.  I am not any more outgoing, but I do not desire to be.  I make the correct decisions and am living life as honestly as I can.

5.  I have become able to be self-employed.  This allows me to attend college full time.  I am currently in my seventh semester of college.

6.  I have become a better communicator.  Cody is usually quite the talker, and he has brought me out of my shell.  I can really let my guard down when it is just him and me, and I love that about our relationship.

7.  I am more organized, yet more relaxed at the same time (if that makes any sense at all).

8.  I am more confident.  I have never really lacked in the self-confidence department, but having someone who loves me and has my back 100% of the time has boosted my confidence level.

9.  I am a better mom.  Having a partner to share the load of the monotonous, day-to-day parenting tasks is priceless.  Equally great is having that same person there so share in all of the joy, laughter, and silliness that are involved with raising our kids.

10.  I am happy...the happiest I have ever been...enough said.

Next topic for my blogging challenge is, "What kind of person attracts you?"  I will try to keep the material different that what is in this post, but be ready to read a lot more information about Cody and why I am attracted to him. 

blogging challenge, day 1: weird things I do when I am alone

My alone time is very limited, therefore I don't feel as though any of the things that I do when I am alone are necessarily weird, but maybe they are.  Usually during time when I am alone, I:

1. Take a shower or a bath
2.  Do homework
3.  Do chores around the house
 4.  Binge watch television, mostly on Netflix.  (Although, we recently watched Shameless, seasons 1-4, and it is a phenomenal show.  I cannot wait for the current season to go to DVD.)
5.  In the early morning hours, before the kids wake, I drink coffee and read several blogs and scroll through Facebook, then do homework.
6.  During my work hours, I am often alone, which I really enjoy.
7.  I also spend alone time just trying to relax and recharge.  I am very much an introverted person, and I need quiet to be a good partner to Cody and momma to my kids. 
8.  I listen to music when I am alone, usually pandora stations such as Girl Talk, Boombox, and EDM.  I like to crank music if I am cleaning.  If I am studying, I listen to my "classical music for studying" station, and it is great, too.

This list wasn't too interesting, but I am a pretty boring person (and I like it that way--the less drama, the better).  Next topic is "How have you changed in the last two years?"  Cody and I have been together for two years, and I have grown so much during our relationship.  That post will be more in depth and personal, look for it in the next few days.  

Life is great lately, Cody and the kids are awesome. Life is busy, but we love it.  Until next time...

i
I thought that attempting to participate in a blogging challenge may be a good way for me to get back into writing.  Thirty days straight may be a stretch for me, so I am setting the goal of blogging about all of these topics over the next six weeks.  Right now, I am procrastinating.  I have some accounting homework to attend to, as well as a few small assignments.  In my defense, I have successfully taken an exam and two quizzes this morning...I felt as though a small brain-break was in order.  Upon completion of school, I will be writing a post about #1 on the list, weird things I do when I'm alone...should be interesting.  :)  Stay tuned!

looking forward

I have never been one who makes resolutions for the new year.  My feelings around January 1st include disbelief that the past year flew by at warp speed, the anticipation and excitement of a fresh start, and hope that the new year will be my best one yet.  

Cody and I spent NYE at home by ourselves.  The kids stayed with their Granny and Papa (Becky and Harold) and we vegged on the couch, eating little smokies and cheese dip, and watching Netflix.  We went to bed around 11:15, as I was struggling to keep my eyes open past 10.  We are early risers, and are usually in bed between 8-830 and asleep by 9.  Party animals. 

We had great conversation that night, which got me to thinking about my expectations of myself for 2015.  I have to remain in control of my emotions and thoughts.  I feel 100% better than I have the past few months, most of that is due to making a conscious effort to worry less and enjoy the present.  Anxiety is a bitch, but my hope is to make it my bitch and keep it at bay.  

I have not been working out or practicing yoga as much as I should, but I haven't totally stopped, either.  I have a lesson scheduled for Tuesday night, then I shall suck it up and get back in some hot classes.  I am lucky to have good friends (and the best sister) to practice with.

I am making a concentrated effort to keep myself as happy as I am right now.  I had a couple of days off this week, and took full advantage of them.  I am feeling good about my classes and got started with coursework on Tuesday.  

Wednesday, I drove to Marshfield on a whim and Patty highlighted my hair for me.  It turned out great, I had forgotten how much I like having my hair blonde.  It was nice to get to visit with Patty and the other women who work in the salon, and I also got to see Mariah and Chesley.  

Yesterday I had lunch with Kasey, and we got caught up after not seeing each other for far too long.  It was great to see her, and cannot wait to get to snuggle on Bowen sometime soon.

Caden has had excellent behavior at school since going back after Christmas, and we are so proud of him.  Having family time (nearly) every night has really helped.  We play a board game, play dough, watch a movie, or make cookies.  After school yesterday we got to go to the park for awhile before I took them to their dad's for the weekend.  It was absolutely gorgeous out, and so fun to see them happy and playing outdoors.

I can't figure out how to get pictures off of my phone and onto the blog, maybe I will have Cody help me with that this weekend.  Caden has a basketball game at eight this morning, the they are staying with Clint until Monday.  I am looking forward to the long weekend with my man and the nice weather.  Yesterday got up to around 58 degrees (according to my phone when I looked at it at the park) and it was blissful.  Sunshine does wonders for me!  While I am not to the point where I am ready for winter to be gone, it is so refreshing to have a string of nice days in the forecast (and it looks like there isn't even a storm brewing yet--we all know how Missouri weather is). 

I am going to try to blog more frequently, as writing is a great outlet for me.  I am taking 12 hours this semester (4 classes).  Therefore, school will be taking precedent over reading and writing for fun, but I hope to maintain some balance and engage in things I enjoy.  My goal for the year is peace and happiness (wow, that sounds so hippie and "far out, man" :)).  I know that doing things for myself that I enjoy will aid in this process.

I am looking forward to writing more soon.  Get outdoors this weekend!