That's my hand! Cody proposed on Sunday evening, after we had his parents over for dinner. The setting was very real-life (in our bedroom--laundry piles and all) and oh-so perfect. My ring belonged to his great grandmother, it was her wedding ring (there is a band that matches). I am honored to be given such a beautiful ring, one that has seen decades of love, honor, and family.
This is it. My big love. When I daydream about my future, those fantasies do not point to a specific career path or geographic location in which we live. When I think about my future, I see my kids grown, with kids of their own, and I see Cody with me. I cannot imagine him not being a part of our lives. While one year is not a terribly long time, it feels like it has been so much longer. It is such a relief to have found someone who loves me, flaws and all. At the beginning of our relationship, we were very real with each other, and that is something that continues daily. We communicate. That may not seem like a big deal to some, but to me, it is huge. I truly feel that with Cody by my side, we can take on any obstacle. We get each other, and when we don't, we can talk about it.
Early in our relationship, I remember saying to Cody, "The kids have a dad. They don't need a dad. I need a partner. I need someone to be on my side, and to help me. I want you to love my kids and be as involved as you wish, but finding a father figure for them is not the goal here--they have that." Dating when you have children is hard! Trying to get to know someone while keeping distance between them and the most important part of your life just does not work. At least for me it didn't. As soon as I got the feeling that this one was going to stick, I introduced him to the kids. Within a few days, Cody had purchased a rocket kit, for he and Caden to build together. He immediately stepped in to help me, and the kids quickly warmed to him. The three of us are pretty close-knit group, and I was surprised at how easily Cody fit into our family. It fills my heart to see how he loves the kids. A stranger would never know that he wasn't their dad. His love for Caden and Laica is obvious, which makes me love him even more.
I am in one of the happiest seasons of my life. My kids are wonderful, Cody is my rock, and my ex husband and I get along better than we have in years. We are all in this together, raising our kids to be productive people. I am confident in my relationship, my job and school, and myself. I would not change a single thing, even though there were certainly some dark times along the way. Each set-back, every stumble, every tear played a part in where I am now. I am so grateful for my family and friends, who love me unconditionally. I am one lucky girl, and I will never forget it.
I would like to say that every day from now will be perfect, all sunshine and rainbows and clear skies. Fact is, life is far from perfect. Our relationship will endure trials, as all real relationships do. A close friend reminded me of some advice that I gave her during a rough patch in her relationship, "What is a month in a life-long relationship?" Meaning, in thirty years, will this rough patch hold any significance? Are you in this for the long haul? If so, then what is the choice but to endure it and grow from it?
This is it. I expect this to be my forever. Knowing Cody has shown me how incredible it is to have a helpful, supportive partner. We compliment each other, we are a team. In this phase of my life, I am so grateful. I have lived on the other side, and will never take this peace and happiness for granted.
I will leave with a few pictures from the past week. Love this little family so much!
Samantha and I are very happy for you and Cody. We look forward to seeing you and your family grow together.
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